Why, no, by Jingo, it's not. The toy all the babies want right now is...
A paper bag! You can put things inside it!
You can take them out again! It crinkles! It's amazing!Why do we even buy her stuff? This bag came wrapped around something from the grocery store earlier this week and I was only saving it as firestarter. I may have to get a package of lunch bags when this one disintegrates.
In other news, Valentine's Day is coming up on Saturday. I'm warning all of you in advance--so you can look smart. Do something nice for your sweetie, because the feast day of St. Valentine is for some reason the holiday of Romantic Love. Because, you know, nothing says Romantic Love like an elderly Roman getting martyred by being mauled to death by lions in the Arena. Pretend that all the blood-red heart imagery is not now a little suspect in your mind and just go ahead and buy the heart-shaped box of candy. (You're welcome.)
An even more made-up-to-sell-cards holiday that I've discovered is called "Sweetest Day" and it happens later in the year. There's also a "Secretary's Day" and nurses get a whole week, but I've yet to see a "Park Ranger's Day" or "Mailman Appreciation Week" so I think it tells us something about female psychology and which gender it is that can be bullied into buying cards for the other gender.
Actually it's a pretty cheap way for all of you with Y chromosomes to make about 100 points quickly-- a card and flowers, particularly a sappy card, will make us nearly as happy as rubies. I let you in on a secret here. If you wash the dishes on the same night as the card and the flowers, you can practically guarantee you're going to have a very happy lady, and thus you will be a very happy man.
So to recap: paper bags are the best toys, washing the dishes + flowers = rubies. Hmm. Maybe the best things in life really are free? (No, no, coffee costs money after all...)
Cheers,
Breanna
No comments:
Post a Comment