Being Protestant (and pregnant) I haven't been fasting in particular for Lent. However, as Holy Week and Pesach get closer I have been thinking, weirdly, about Judas.
There are a couple of schools of thought about Judas. One is that Judas betrayed Christ on purpose, knowing full well what he was doing, possibly laughing in his sleeve about the fact that he made thirty pieces of silver on the deal. The other is that Judas's thought process was something like this: "Christ is supposed to be the King and Messiah but He's messing it up with this suffering servant garbage. I will therefore hand Him over to the chief priests and the scribes and force His hand. He will have to call down power from heaven and take His rightful place."
People object to the first idea on the practical basis that thirty pieces of silver wasn't really enough money to be betraying a Friend; it would be like selling out someone you love for a hundred bucks. People object to the second because the Bible is fairly clear that Judas was not saved, and this line of thinking seems to make him into a mistaken saint, instead of a judged sinner.
I think we can understand Judas's motivation a little better if we add to the statement in the second theory "...and it won't hurt anything that I'll be in on the ground floor of the new government, and I can remind Christ that I was the one who saw to it that He came to power."
See, Judas's problem was that he didn't understand anything of Christ's true interests. We tend to identify more with Peter or even Paul than we do Judas, but it might behoove us to think about his characteristics. Judas was involved with ministry--did the buying for the apostles and Christ. He helped himself to the moneybox, too, and saw nothing wrong with using the ministry for personal gain, but that's not a unique thing in religious circles, now is it? He justified attempting to manipulate the Lord as simply doing what he was pretty sure the Lord wanted done anyway. His big blind spot? For Judas, the Kingdom of Heaven was only relevant in how it could make Judas's life better. His last act, in the face of the dramatic implosion of all his plans, was the ultimate selfishness of hanging himself rather than repenting.
Judas was selfish, but not more selfish than any of us. It is sobering to think about all the times we might have been tempted to use ministry for personal gain, whether that be monetary, emotional, or social. It's doubly sobering to think about the ways we try to manipulate God. I'm not talking about praying for something in an attempt to determine whether or not this is God's will for your life, I'm talking about the times when we know what we want and try to bend all prayer and all advice to make it happen. We tend to minimize these sins, but when you think about Judas it takes away some excuses.
If you look at disobedience and greed under their proper name of betrayal, it sort of gives you a whole 'nother thing to repent of this Lenten time, doesn't it?
Peace,
Breanna
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