Praying for patience

It's been an interesting few days.

Holy, of course.  It is Easter Week.  But have you noticed the wry sense of humor with which the Lord decides to mix things like Easter Week and babies waking up at 5:30 AM for three days in a row?

People who haven't expereinced the hellish sleep deprivation of early parenthood don't know what I'm talking about.  They chuckle merrily and picture something out of an "I Love Lucy" episode, maybe.  But I'm not exaggerating when I say I haven't had an entire night's sleep since my daughter was born in late 2007.  Yep, that's almost three years.  You can get your trucker's certification faster than that.  You can even become an LPN faster than that, for Pete's sake.  So sleep, all sleep, becomes this gorgeous, precious thing that you are continually trying to obtain.  To the point that I have, several times, looked at my husband at 8:10PM and said "Well, I'm going to sleep."

And he says, "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea."  Sigh.  We used to be normal adults, who knew that there were shows on TV other than The Wonder Pets and who had your normal social hangups about mentioning poo in conversation.  (No, we don't have those hangups anymore.  And I don't watch Dancing With the Stars.)

The practical consequence of this sleep deprivation is that on bad days I have less patience than, say, Mike Tyson.  This is bad; patience is a fruit of the Spirit, so not having it in my life is a significant lack.  Also, I have children whom I am trying to teach impulse control.  When you find yourself snapping "JUST WAIT FOR A SECOND!  A SECOND!  A MEASLY SECOND!  BE PATIENT!" at your two-year-old, you become aware of the dictionary definition of "hypocrisy".

So the other night I prayed, "Lord, give me more patience", and then I cringed.  Because you know what they say about praying for patience.

Which is surely a backward way of looking at things.  God is the definition of love; He doesn't look for reasons to trick us while answering our prayers a la Hera or Zeus.  If I need more patience, I am instructed in the book of James to ask for it.  If I need to get a handle on the tone of my voice when I discipline my youngsters, I should ask for it.

So why don't I?  To my shame I just don't think of it.  This, I think, exposes a fundamental lack in my basic way of thinking: I'll work on it myself and call on God if I have any problems.  Which is a little like deciding I'll buckle my seatbelt real quick if I seem to be getting into a car accident, right?

Which brings me here, on Friday of Holy Week, praying for patience.  We've decided getting the girl up at 6AM is probably the best plan, since it minimizes our "I'm-not-tired-and-you-can't-make-me-sleep" issues at night.  In theory. 

I am dying thinking about it in a way that only another nursing mother can really understand.  So can I ask all of you to pray for my patience as well?

Thanks.

Breanna