Baby Shower

...but no pictures, because I haven't got my camera charged yet. Welcome to a day in the world where simple things, like opening and shutting a drawer, become impossible because of elaborate setups involving kangaroos and apple-kiwi-strawberry juice.

Anyway. So a couple of weeks ago our music leader and his wife, who's the church pianist, had an emergency right before service. I mention, as I'm dandling my huge son in his sling, that I play the piano. I was forthwith drafted. The net result of this (aside from a herky-jerky but intact music service) was that all the church ladies had it forced upon their consciousness that 1) I have a baby; he's huge and 2) they said they were going to give me a baby shower and hadn't yet.

Now, I don't mind. I figured they forgot, he's quiet, and anyway we sit over to one side and nobody really notices us that much except the people that we regularly talk to, who all gave us presents back in April anyway.

It must have bugged the ladies, because they threw me a baby shower tonight along with a lady who just had a baby a month ago. Needless to say, Brother could have squashed the kid with one foot.

It was a lovely baby shower, with loads of useful outfits (and a coat!) and toys (a lambie! that sings!). But it was a bit hilarious at the same time; they hit every single cliche, bless 'em.

Shall I tell you about the baby shower I dream of giving for some lucky mother someday?

1. No mints. WHAT is with the butter mints? Does anybody actually like them, or do we just use them because they are pastel? Instead of mints and cupcakes, at the magic baby shower I'd like to throw someday we'd have nachos, or maybe soup and hot bread, or a chili bar. Perhaps we'd have one desert, but no cupcakes. And no little baskets of peanuts.

2. No punch. Grownups should not drink punch. We'd have good coffee, tea, and wine like civilized adults. (This ain't a church shower. Or at least not a Baptist church shower.)

3. MUSIC. Good music. Fun music. Loud music. Kenny can DJ.

4. Howsabout instead of paper plates, we use real dishes and everybody helps clean up? For that matter, howsabout we use real napkins and cups, too?

5. Circular tables, so you can talk to more than three people.

6. More than two games; no playing the game where you guess the flavor of baby food, no playing the game where you melt the candybars in the diaper; no playing the "how many names can you make out of the parent's names" game, no playing... really ANY of the babyshower theme games. At my magic shower, we will play Poker, Pinochle, and Risk. The wimps can play Scrabble in the corner.

7. There will be an MC (probably me!) who makes things start with a definite beginning and stop with a definite end.

8. There will be a recliner. The mother will be in it. Her feet will be up.

Sound like a good baby shower?

Heck, I think it sounds like a good party.

Want to come to my party?

Cheers,

Breanna

P.S. This sounds like I'm ungrateful to my church ladies, but I'm really not. They're sweeties. I've just always wanted to give a...well, adult party for a shower. I mean, it's not like the baby's eating any of the stuff. And maybe if you served booze the men would come.